Everywhere you look it seems like someone else is living the life you dream about.
Sara is in yet another exotic location, sharing live updates on Facebook as she traverses the globe.
John that analyst at work actually started a side hustle a year ago and now has enough clients to do it full time.
Your sister’s friend Sophia just published her first book! Who’d have thought she had it in her.
Those stories should inspire you yet all you feel is envy.
There’s a weight in your chest and a knot in the pit of your stomach.
Those are your dreams! Yet somehow, for one reason or another, you’ve never made them happen.
What does John have that you don’t?
Why is it happening for Sara and not you?
Well let’s be honest. Where you are right now is as a result of the choices you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken. Maybe it’s time to examine those choices more closely.
Could it be that:
- When you thought you were making compromises you were really lowering your standards?
- When opportunities came you turned them away more concerned about what you could lose rather than gain?
- When challenges came you avoided them or quit at the first hurdle?
Those choices have led you to where you are right now.
Feeling unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated.
Because that’s what happens when your choices are guided by fear and not your dreams. You end up with a pretty limited life.
Change starts with awareness
You have the power to change anything in your life but it first starts with awareness. You need to figure out what is holding you back.
So how can you tell if fear is controlling your life?
Here are 5 things you tell yourself.
1. There just aren’t enough hours in the day
Your days are no shorter than anyone else’s yet you’re convinced that you have so much on that it’s impossible to carve out any more time to work on the things you really want.
The truth is if you aren’t making time for your dreams then they’re either not really a priority or you’ve allowed yourself to get distracted by ‘busy’ work. You’re doing lots but not really achieving much, at least nothing that moves you closer to your goals.
Why are you avoiding working on the things you really want? Could it be fear of failure or even fear of success?
The bottom line? ‘I don’t have the time’ is just an excuse. Your failure to focus on the things that really matter is the real reason you’re not making progress towards your dreams.
2. You’re not ready to start
You tell yourself it just isn’t the right time. You need just one more opinion, one more book, one more training video before you start. But the never-ending quest to be prepared for every contingency leads to procrastination and failure to take action.
The bottom line? You’re afraid of the unknown so you find excuses not to go forward. You forget that you have everything you need to start.
3. You just don’t have what it takes
You think that your ideas aren’t that great or unique. There are so many people out there more qualified, more capable and more accomplished. That inner voice pipes up: ‘You’re not smart enough. He’s a much better speaker than you could ever be. She’s a better writer, why would anyone listen to you?’ the list goes on and on. Deep down inside you believe that you’re just not good enough.
The key thing to remember is that although you may believe those limitations are true, you can challenge them at any time. What if you were good enough? How would you act? Instead of focusing on the gap between where you are and what you want to be, ask yourself instead: ‘What do I need to learn in order to get this done?’
The bottom line? If your beliefs are holding you back are you willing to question what you may think is true about yourself? Are you willing to challenge and change them?
4. It’s too late for you
You allow others to place limits on you without even realising it. Worse still you accept those limits and they become your truth, influencing your decisions. But these are just stories, stories you can choose to believe or not.
Whatever it is that you think you’re too old to do there is someone out there who’s proven that it is possible. If you look around you’ll find examples of people who’ve reinvented themselves. People who’ve decided to go for the things they want, to make it happen regardless of their age.
The bottom line? How old you are isn’t the issue, it’s your attitude to it. Will you see it as a barrier or a blessing? The choice is up to you.
5. Everyone is waiting for you to mess up
‘What will people think?’ ‘What if they laugh at me?’ Just consider those statements for a moment. A year from now will the people you are concerned about remember what you did or didn’t do? Will they even care about why you did or didn’t go for the thing you wanted?
Most people pay cursory attention to others, they’re busy with their own lives and their own problems. Why let them dictate what you do?
The bottom line? When you look back at the missed opportunity how will you feel? Would you rather risk making a mistake or risk living with regret?
Now is the time to face your fears and bring your dreams to life
So you feel unhappy and frustrated.
Are you fed up with being miserable?
Tired of living a mediocre life?
Remember it doesn’t have to be that way. You have the power to change it.
Whether it’s starting your own business or taking that trip round the world, you have what it takes to make it happen.
Start by looking for these 5 signs that fear is in control of your life.
Fight back by taking action towards your goals.
Just imagine how excited, energised and in control you’ll feel.
Picture the amazing life that you can create, one that you jump out of bed for everyday.
And when Sara sends an update from the next exotic location you can shrug and smile, after all you’re living the dream too.